Ah, Fuck it
The awesome story of the day is obviously the story of the Jet Blue Steward / Flight Attedant that pulled the emergency slide and bailed from the plane and was later arrested.
No matter whatever the actual details are, it is an epic story and I think it’s awesome. Let’s take a look at two different links and do an old-fashioned journalistic type breakdown.
SALACIOUS DETAILS
- No mentions of the following in NY Times so I gotta give this one easily to NBC. In the first paragraph, they mention he grabbed beers before leaving the plane. Awesome. In my mind I’m picturing him holding three Bud Lights in one hand and steadying himself with the other while ripping it down the slide. Later in the article, my favorite thing I’ve ever read in my entire life,”… Slater was later arrested at his home in Belle Harbor, Queens by Port Authority officials. He was found by police in a sexual embrace with his partner, sources said.” Found in a sexual embrace. HELL YES. The thought process shown here is truly amazing. If anyone wants to discuss what this was or could of been, please contact me because I could probably spend five hours talking about this. (ed’s note - this was written before Bill Simmons tweeted about it. thanks, mgmt)
WILDLY AWKWARD PICTURES
- NY Times gets this one. Yeah, the NBC picture of of Slater with what appears to be a mixing bowl on his head is quite good but they lost points for having a stock (and boring!) Getty images photo of a regular-ass plane. (PS - is that a rain drop in the picture?) Bottom line, NBC, we know what a plane looks like. Thanks. NY Times though, they did some thorough mining on Slater’s myspace page.
Not Awkward Photo related but NY Times reported that he’s been a flight attendant since 1990 and is 39 years old. NBC reported that Slater was 38. They also wrote that sources said Slater was quoted as saying “There goes 28 years”. First, how old is he REALLY? Second, why say there goes 28 years? Those first 10 years of your life don’t count for anything? (if he’s 38. It’s those first 11 years that didn’t count for anything if he’s 39). According to the NY Times, he’s been a flight attendant for 20 years so wouldn’t saying “there goes 20 years” make more sense? Related, he’s been a flight attendant for 20 years! Third, in the NBC article the passenger in question is a female. In the NY Times article, the passenger in question is a male. I’m not a journalism professor but how can the articles differ on those two things?
TAKING SOME LIBERTIES AND PLAYING LOOSE WITH SOURCES, UNNAMED OR OTHERWISE
- NBC takes this one going away. 1st paragraph - “…so he allegedly cursed a blue streak” What defines a “blue streak”? Five f-bombs, six, a dozen? A cunt mention? Racial stuff? Maybe what I consider a blue streak is different than the source that talked to NBC. NY Times wrote… “he cursed out all on board”. Then there is this from the NBC article …”Slater asked for an apology but the woman cursed him out, saying in effect “go f—k yourself” and calling him a “mo-fo,” according to law enforcement sources who are still sorting out the specifics”. That is a wildly amateurish sentence and wouldn’t get past the editors of The Ithacan. NBC also felt the need to include this sentence…“The steward was “having a bad day,” sources said.“ So was this determined before or after he pulled the god-dammed emergency slide down? I also love that it’s “sources”. Editor - “Well, we only have one person on record as saying Slater was having a bad day, I don’t feel right if only one person said he was having a bad day. Hey, JONATHAN DIENST, PEI-SZE CHENG and HASANI GITTENS, can you see if anyone else can back up this claim that Slater was having a bad day?” The three writers of the article - “You got it chief, we’re on it.” The 3rd paragraph of NY Times article mentions…”landed at Kennedy around noon — on time —” which in, the opinion of the author, implies that the plane landed on time so the passengers should be thankful and have no reason to be pissed.
WINNER - NBC. With a story like this that is time sensitive —
BREAKING - Both links are updated. NBC has a perp-walk video and NY Times gets all NY Magazine type on this story. NBC still wins. Though, it’s been changed to…“when authorities found Slater he seemed to be in the midst having sexual relations.” Still really awesome (and maybe better) but I miss ‘sexual embrace’
Lesson - Don’t attempt to write a stupid comparison on two links that can change content, tone, the number of reporters that contributed, etc. while you are thinking of your dumbass jokes and on your high-horse journalistic bullshit. NBC still has passenger as a woman and NY Times passenger as a male though.
